I think a lot about the future. I wonder about and hope for the things that will happen, the things that I haven't yet done or acquired, the direction I really want my life to go in. I think lately that train of though has actually been interfering with the way in which I live out the present, the here and now.
I've talked a lot about how teachers aren't really allowed the luxury of having bad days because we are standing up there in front of those kids day after day. But that's not really true. We DO have bad days. There are times when we walk into that classroom halfheartedly and don't give it our very best effort. It's nobody's fault and I'm not saying it's wrong. We're people and we have emotions and that's just life.
I think the problem comes when we start to look so far into the future that we're not giving our attention to what happens in front of our faces every day as we wait for the future to arrive. There is an entire group of little people for whom you have a very finite amount of time to positively affect. You get one year, that's it. Not even a full year...what? 9 1/2 months? That's almost scary to think about because there is SO much that I want to offer these kids both academically and emotionally. But if I am wasting some of that time brooding and hoping and basically keeping my head so far out of the game that I'm not helping anyone, I have only myself to blame.
My job is to be a teacher. I don't get a second chance next year. Why? Because all kids are not the same. You can't just swap them out and get a re-do. You mess us this time, that's a whole year that those students don't get back. Basically, the whole point of this post is re-commitment. I'm not quite sure what it will take, but I have a great belief that the future and my hopes for it will be realized. It's what I do in the meantime that counts. I have an opportunity every day and I can't imagine anything more precious than that (different yes, but not better).